Sorry, it’s Cece’s poems for Miss Rumphius

Cece wrote two poems for Miss R.’s poetry challenge. Apparently she has a lot of apologize for….

Gee
I didn’t really mean it.

Really,
Your breath is fine.

I’ll put away the gum,
if you’ll just stop
crying.

———-

Hey Mom,

I’m sorry to tell you this.

Well, we thought about it

and just decided

we can’t do it.

We can’t sit at the table

with that evil person

and say we are thankful for nice things.

I will miss the good food.

And you.

Free Fiction: Britney and Paris Save The World

As I mentioned yesterday, snapfiction’s writing challenge was a doozy this week:

Write a story that involves a judge, a hyena, a tuning fork, a compass and six yards of the finest Chinese silk.

The great thing about these challenges is that you sit down with no idea at all and you’re forced into unfamiliar territory and you end up with something you’d have never thought of in a million years.

Mine starts like this:

“That hyena just ran off with our last tuning fork!” said Paris.

“Ding dang, y’all, how are we supposed to tune the piano now?” replied Britney with her usual swagger, as she smashed together the two remaining hyenas, crushing their skulls. 

The piano was long past tuning. The pair of celebrities had turned it on its side to block the spears of the furious tribe of papparazzi that had them pinned down in this remote Czech town.

“Hard to believe my father once owned a ski lodge near here,” said Paris, during a lull in the fighting. “Hard to believe it used to snow around here.”

“Hard to believe it ever snowed anywhere on this gosh-forsaken planet,” muttered Britney. “I’m getting seriously sick of all these hyenas, rats and kudzu.”

More…..(But not too much more.)

Madge’s starts like this:

My earliest memory was not of my mother’s voice but of her tuning fork. Each morning she would strike it against the side of my crib, waving it next to my ears as if she were conducting something — not an orchestra so much as the earliest part of my childhood. She waved the fork right, then left, then right again, holding my chin in her free hand.  more…

I hope to see some more of you rising to this every-Tuesday afternoon challenge soon….

Snapficiton challenge is up….

Don’t forget about this week’s Snapfiction writing challenge…

“Write a piece about an old man sitting on the edge of a dried up waterway. He is dressed as if it was winter. He holds a strange-looking sphere in his hand. “

Like I always say, you can’t beat this for a fun, instant feedback writing exercise….

I’m working on mine right now. Join in…

Snapfiction stories are ready

This week’s Snapfiction stories are ready. http://www.snapfiction.com/challenge.pl?challenge_pk=1026

The challenge was odd this week – a story about a green thumg and a silver spoon — but it led to better participation this week with four stories. Mine is the silly one, of course. http://www.snapfiction.com/story.pl?story_pk=1019

I wasn’t going to do it this week. Then I forced myself and as usual I had fun and wound up taking my idea a step farther than I expected when I started.

This REALLY is a great writing exercise. With a chance for quick feedback. I hope more of you will join us next week. (Challenges go up on Tuesday afternoons and are due Wed around noon.)

Free Fiction: Free Will Robots at Myrtle Beach

Boo! I was the only person to take up the SnapFiction challenge this week. C’mon people!

The challenge was, write about a small tidal pool at the bottom of which is a very strange creature.

Anyway, here’s the story I wrote. It’s sort of a Thurber/Lem mash-up or mybe it’s just Riddleburgarian.

Free-Will Robots at Myrtle Beach

by Sam Riddleburger- Copyright 2007

>>Look, it’s a small tidal pool at the bottom of which is a very strange creature.

“I have observed it and am ready to go swimming.”

>>Just let me look it up in the brochure which I received from an information specialist at the National Park kiosk.

“I find that to be non-mission critical.”

>>But which aneomone is it? The brochure says there are hundreds of different species. I will now compare the strange creature to those pictured in the brochure.

“Take a photo and compare it later.”

>>It bears a striking resemblance to Tarlington’s Anemone, which I presume is named after famed 19th century naturalist Lucas Tarlington.

“I recently deleted all my information regarding 19th century naturalist after determining that they are all dead.”

>>Tarlington is noted as the first–

“If we don’t go swimming now, we’re not going to make it back to the hotel in time to recharge and get to the Medieval Madness Showe and Buffete. Our non-refundable tickets are for the 4:30 seating we have limited time.”

>>Ok, fine.

“I mean, if you really want to look at–”

>> No, I said it was fine. Let’s go get in the corrosive, salty water and pretend it’s fun.

“You know what, forget it. I’m just going back to the hotel.

>> Good. Now maybe I can look at this @$#$% strange creature in peace.

Snapfiction challenge of the week

I just wrote my Snapfiction piece for this week. Have you?

I highly encourage other kidlitters to take part in this fun, easy writing exercise. So far my prodding has only resulted in one kidlitter actually taking part. (Thanks, Madge.) C’mon folks, this so much simpler than going to a writing group. The challenge is quick and the feedback comes quick. It will get your gears turning.

This week’s challenge was to write about a “small tidal pool in the bottom of which is a strange creature.” I recommend trying to twist and bend  this as much as possible. But if you really want to write about a tidal pool denizen, then you can do that, too.

Harry Potter Alternate Ending #4

Folks, each one of these I write I enjoy more and more. You got to try one, it’s a great writing exercise. Let me know if you write one and I’ll put up a link…

———

CHAPTER 137, The Battle for Hogwarts Cafeteria

“Okay, let me get this straight,” said Voldemort. “I’m not the true master of the wand because…”

“Because Draco WAS the master,” started Harry, “but then…”

“Yes,” said Hermione, ” but I think you’re over looking the crucial fact that Dumbledore wasn’t really beaten…”

“Exactly,” said Voldemort, “he was basically pulling an Obi Wan Kenobi. That doesn’t count. Darth Vader didn’t become the master of Obi Wan’s light saber.”

“What did happen to Obi Wan’s Light Saber,” asked Ron.

“Oh, that was explained in the Marvel Comics adaptation,” said Neville, “in issue 73, a shadowy figure is seen in the background of the docking bay firefight scene……”

“No, no, no,” said Cho, “you’re forgetting about Splinter of the Minds Eye.”

“Splinter of a Mind’s Eye isn’t part of the TSWC!”

“Yes, it is!” retorted Cho.

“What’s the TSWC,” asked Bellatrix.

“That’s the TRUE Star Wars Continuum,” explained Mrs. Weasley. “You see, some things created with the Star Wars name are not really part of the TRUE story arc. Take 4LOM, for example.”

“Hey, I had a 4LOM when I was a kid,” said Voldemort, “but Dumbledore borrowed it and lost the cape. Oh, yeah that reminds me. I hate all of you. ATTICA CORRUPTUS!”

Everyone dies.

Alternate Harry Potter Ending #3

Harry felt his forehead. The scar was gone. Voldemort was dead and the scar was gone.

But so was something else.

He knew what it was. Even before he said, “Accio Paper,” he knew the nearly weightless scrap of paper on the floor wouldn’t budge. He didn’t even bother trying another spell.

All these years he had been using Voldemort’s magic. Magic captured and held by his mother’s dying words. But now that magic was gone.

 Harry was a muggle.

Snapfiction.com writing challenge is up!

Snapfiction’s weekly challenge is up and I’m already in with a “fascinating” description of my “Leftover Crab for Lunch.”

Can you do better? Get on over there and give it a try. It’s a great little writing exercise. You’ve got about 24 hours left…

(or less depending on when you read this.)

Sock Monkey Writer’s Block Cure

Linda Acorn told me that Lisa Yee and the DiscoMermaids are all talking about using Sock Monkeys to cure writers block.

Well, it sure seems to work for my wife Cece Bell, who wrote 5 books about Sock Monkey. Sock Monkey is the name of our sock monkey, often called S.M. for short.

Anyhow, if you want to try it, follow this link to design a sock monkey then make him dance, whilst Cece plays a little ragtime number on the piano. (Uses Flash.)

Meanwhile, I thought you might enjoy seeing this picture of how Sock Monkey has taken over out house…

It’s big, so I’ll stick it on the next page in case you don’t want to bring the joy of Sock Monkey into your life…