Once I tasted a Jolly Rancher andit smelled like poop? I ate it andafter I threw up in my dog’s foodand he ate it.
The worst thing I’ve ever smelledis the mud that my cousin fell inbut it wasn’t really mud.
Oh poop oh poophow you lay in the toilet settingin a puddle of brown you stinkso very badly thatyou put upon my face a veryhorrible frown
It was like a hot bowl of poop chili with a side of molded bread.It was like a drink of chocolate lemonade with gym sock dripping of sweat.It was like a burnt hot dog with horse relish and cole slaw.
I farted and threw upon zombie/ the zombie poopedhis pants twice.
“I went to the storeand I saw someone fartit was a big one.”
“The worst thing is smell.The worst thing is dirty !!Like you!”
“It smells real bad. It also smells like brussel sprouts dipped in salsa.”
If you smell somebodywho ate burriotos and beansrun for your life now!
TrainsSpockBlockTick TockBellTellNorth Pole ExpressSpock
In my book, The Qwikpick Adventure Society, the three kid heroes find a lot of odd ways to fight off boredom — origami contests, listening to 70s music, playing Penny Basketball, eating expired beef jerky and, yes, writing poetry about the smell of the sludge fountain at the sewage treatment plant.This last item, I’ve discovered, is a great hook for getting kids excited about my book and poetry, too.Some might turn up their noses at my methods, but I’ve gotten kids shouting, screaming and generally going nuts for poetry. As you can see in these two videos featuring clips from a library reading and a school visit: The Short Version. The Longer Version.
Keep reading for more details and some really gross kid poems….
As promised, here are some highlights from a Qwikpick Instant Poetry Contest held at a rural library in SW Virginia.
Warning: Gross stuff lies ahead! I use my book to show kids how words and, especially poetry, can make expereinces vivid. I read the kids the haikus from my book that the characters wrote after seeing the Sludge Fountain in person.
Then I challenge them to write a poem in two minutes titled “The Worst Thing I Ever Smelled.”
Sweet Little Daisy stole the show, but I was also very happy that two of the librarians joined in this time. (And they got the syllable counts right!)
Here’s a grisly one from Daphne the Librarian:
“A dead deer on the
highway rotting in the sun
been there for some time.”
Not funny, but a fact of life in these parts where roadkill is common.
Remember this great kid?
Here’s his poem. (lightly edited) You’ll note he went slightly over the syllable count for a haiku, but his spelling more than makes up for that…
Poop and Sewer Sludge
When I smell poop poop / sewer sludge
it smells/ so bad that it makes / my heart budge!
I smell gases. A million / square!
It smells/ so bad that I got / to swear!
I run/ right out of that / porta pody.
Then/ I smell so / bad that it / kills everybody!
But the winner and grand champion was Daisy. She won for the title alone, really.
Here she is with her mother helping her write the poem…
And here is the poem…
I smelled this poot
And it was very yucky.
Wow, what a day!
Cece and I did our respective song and dances for grades k-5. Cece took the younger half, I took the older. We did three shows each. (Mine were about 45 minutes each.)
The Instant Poetry Contest was a huge hit.
Here’s a shot of some third grade poets in action…
By the end of the day I had a huge stack of about 100 gross kid poems. It was wild to see kids cheering and yelling about poetry! ( I hope I got a video that will show this.)
Since I have more that I’ll ever be able to use on Poetry Friday, I’ll go ahead and share one here:
“My Grandpa Joe”
My Grandpa Joe likes to show me his feet. A lot.
I think that they stink. A lot.
They smell like gross meatlof and dead rats,
also they have lot of, um, pimples.”
After I did the 5th grade show, the principal very nicely asked me not to use the word “poop” anymore. That’s tough when the book is all about kids searching for the legendary Fountain of Poop and the part I read out loud is the part about them finding the fountain and the smells that go with it. I did my best to follow the rules, but a few “poops” may have slipped out.
Cece held a couple of yodeling contests and taught tons of kids how to draw Sock Monkey and Froggie. I think the school (and the local bookstore) made a fortune selling stuffed sock monkeys. If only we could get a cut of that action!
A great day for both of us! It’s so weird how you can have a store booksigning that is so slow and then another time you can have a horde of kids clawing each other to get a bookmark.