Harry Potter Alternate Ending #4

Folks, each one of these I write I enjoy more and more. You got to try one, it’s a great writing exercise. Let me know if you write one and I’ll put up a link…

———

CHAPTER 137, The Battle for Hogwarts Cafeteria

“Okay, let me get this straight,” said Voldemort. “I’m not the true master of the wand because…”

“Because Draco WAS the master,” started Harry, “but then…”

“Yes,” said Hermione, ” but I think you’re over looking the crucial fact that Dumbledore wasn’t really beaten…”

“Exactly,” said Voldemort, “he was basically pulling an Obi Wan Kenobi. That doesn’t count. Darth Vader didn’t become the master of Obi Wan’s light saber.”

“What did happen to Obi Wan’s Light Saber,” asked Ron.

“Oh, that was explained in the Marvel Comics adaptation,” said Neville, “in issue 73, a shadowy figure is seen in the background of the docking bay firefight scene……”

“No, no, no,” said Cho, “you’re forgetting about Splinter of the Minds Eye.”

“Splinter of a Mind’s Eye isn’t part of the TSWC!”

“Yes, it is!” retorted Cho.

“What’s the TSWC,” asked Bellatrix.

“That’s the TRUE Star Wars Continuum,” explained Mrs. Weasley. “You see, some things created with the Star Wars name are not really part of the TRUE story arc. Take 4LOM, for example.”

“Hey, I had a 4LOM when I was a kid,” said Voldemort, “but Dumbledore borrowed it and lost the cape. Oh, yeah that reminds me. I hate all of you. ATTICA CORRUPTUS!”

Everyone dies.

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One Response

  1. These just keep getting better! You should write books for a living or something.

    Wait… 4LOM’s not cannon!?!

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