Enclosed please find my 60,000-word book for five-year-old children.
I’m a writer of crime fiction, but these stories I’ve been telling my kid about his stuffed animals are just so damn wonderful I had to type them up, add some wry condescending comments for parents to snicker at and send them to you.
I hate to spoil the many wonderful surprises that lay ahead of you, so let me just say that it involves a gluttonous bear, a passive-aggressive donkey, a pig and a little boy who wears a dress. Oh yes, the bear hums a lot and the book includes complete transcriptions of ever tum-tum-tiddly-bum.
I have not enclosed a S.A.S.E. and hope you will recycle the manuscript if it does not fit your needs.
A. A. Milne
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