Newbery: The distinguished scales fall from my delineated eyes

I was reading the Heavy Medal blog a bit and kept finding everyone all cock-a-hoop about a book’s being “distinguished” or “not-distinguished.”

I went to the Newbery rules and sure enough found “distinguished” to be prominently displayed.

Reminds me of being  a fifth grader: “Dude, you’ve got to read Lizard Music, it’s totally distinguished!”

“Are you crazy? Not as distinguished as Prince Jen!”

And then I scroll down further in the rules to find these criteria:

  • Interpretation of the theme or concept 
  • Presentation of information including accuracy, clarity, and organization 
  • Development of a plot 
  • Delineation of characters 
  • Delineation of setting 
  • Appropriateness of style
  • What if the author accidentally developed the characters and delineated the plot?
    BAH!
     
    When I when the lottery, I’m starting a new medal …  The Jackie Chan Medal:
    TERMS

    1. The Medal shall be awarded annually to the author of the most kung-fu contribution to American literature for children kids published in English in the United States during the preceding year. Honor Books may be named. These shall be books that are also truly kung-fu. These books shall be given the Snake, No-Shadow and Drunken-style medals.

    2. The committee in its deliberations is to consider only the books that flow from the fingertips, sway at the hips, kick high, legsweep low and have the Golden Glow.

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