I daresay that few of us have ever had an idea this far out. And if we have, we’ve quickly abandoned it.
But not Emma Stirling, she just lets it roll…
This 1868 book that is actually narrated by a pin – and a chatty little pin it is, too. Here are some excerpts from the Google Books version:
After being fully grown and well
polished, I was sent out to seek my fortune
in the world; for which purpose I was put
into a most uncomfortable little box, with
about two hundred others—at least as nearly
as we could calculate, for we were so shamefully
squeezed, that, lay our heads together as
we might, we could not collect our few ideas.
I have heard it said, on good authority, that I must have lived for ages, deep down in the bowels of the earth, long before any of the present company knew the value of myself and family. Also, that after being brought from the mine at great expense and trouble, I underwent a variety of horrible processes, of burning, cutting, &c.; though of these, as I said before, I have fortunately no recollection. My tortures, however, must have been excruciating, and this part of my history is too painful to be dwelt upon.
I regret to report that the pin may well be, as my mother might have said, a pill. She is certianly as annoying as any pin I’ve ever known and at one point lashes out at the reader:
Now, young ladies, don’t smile and look
wise, for if you have only just discovered who
Lady Dripley was, and what parts the present
company performed in the drama of my life,
all I can say is, your perceptions are not of
the most acute ;—in plain language, you are
I’ll admit I have not read the whole thing, because, frankly, I do not wish to. It appears to be some sort of moral lesson about a girl named Bat. Surely, we would all have been better of if the girl had been allowed to narrate the story and this annoying pin had kept silent, as God intended.
The authoress herself, however, is even chattier than the pin. Here’s something from the afterward:
And I can assure you, that although it is
certainly not a common occurrence for the pin
family to be so communicative as the member
of it whose history is now ended, still, what
induced me to make her history public, was
the knowledge that all the scenes through
which she passed, and the persons with whose
daily life she was familiar, are not fanciful
*By the way this is not the same Emma Stirling who wrote “The Cockeshell Girl” and other recent titles. At least I don’t think so…
Filed under: jacked up, kidlit |