Alternate Harry Potter Ending #6

 “where… where am I….,” asked Harry, struggling to recover his senses.

  “I guess you might call this our break room,” said the Bloody Baron.

 “Yeah,” added Nearly Headless Neck, “this is where you can come to relax, eat a Hot Pocket, that sort of thing. The best part is, in here you can turn off the schtick. No “boo” stuff, no haunting. We have to do enough of that crap in the hallways.”

 “Word,” added Moaning Myrtle.

 “Do you mean I’m… a ghost, too?” asked Harry, struggling to recover his senses.

 “Oh, yeah, sorry,” said Nick, “I though that had been made clear to you. Hey at least you don’t have that scar anymore. I mean, yes, your head has a big hole in it, but no scar! Dude, I think you’re going to like it here. Look, we’ve got all these awesome Muggle Movies, like ‘The Princess Bride’ and ‘Kung-Fu Vampire Attack.'”

“And look at this,” said Moaning Myrtle. “I just got a ELO’s greatest hits CD from the Columbia Record Club. First I got 13 albums for a penny and now I just choose one more at the regular price every six months.”

 “Do you play penny basketball?” asked the Baron, “We play a lot of penny basketball.”

 “That sounds great, but I can never be happy being separated from Ginny, my one true love.”

 “Got great news for you, kid,” said the Baron. “She just took a nasty spell to the head down in the cafeteria. Seems her mother was too busy quoting Sigourney Weaver lines from ‘Aliens’ to save her. In fact, she should be here any second.”

 Ginny materializes.

 “Hi, Ginny!”

 “Hi, Harry!”

 A long ghostly hug follows.

 “Hey, let’s give these kids some privacy,” said the Baron.

 “Yeah, better get back to it,” said Nick.

Fade to Black as ELO’s “Mr. Blue Sky” plays…

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2 Responses

  1. lol

    delightful

  2. ha ha! Love transcends all borders

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